i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Less talking, more tequila
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
