Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
