Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
