I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
