We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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