He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize