I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize