Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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