Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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