i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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