ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
