I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
