so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
