He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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