I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
