We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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