I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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