Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So squirting runs in the family.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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