"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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