I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
