Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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