I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
