that's an acceptable place to lick
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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