please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
