Someone shit on the floor
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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