dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize