at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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