As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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