I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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