The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
