Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize