omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
