we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
