Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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