..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Randomize
