so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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