So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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