pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
