Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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