Buhtt sex?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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