i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
