Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
