i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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