so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
