the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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