ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
