Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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