shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
