I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i now understand why vodka
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
