White coat. Heels.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
