The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
