I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
