...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
