Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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