I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
