Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
