I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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