which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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