I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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