I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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