She said her name was "party"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
