The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
