apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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