I wannas sexs uuuuu
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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