Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
